My Blue Box
by Emily Tyler
Summary: Crossover with Scrubs. We all know what happened when the Doctor visited that hospital in London. But what if, instead, he had gone to a little place called Sacred Heart? Yes, it's supposed to be silly. AND DONE.
1. Just a Normal Day

**We all know what happened in ****Smith and Jones****: Vampire aliens, leather fetishes, Judoon platoon upon the moon, all that jazz. But what if, instead of the Mercy Hospital in London, the Doctor had found some unusual readings around the Sacred Heart Hospital? Set before the events of S&J, this crossover Scrubs fanfic ruins my chances of ever being taken seriously. Told from third person POV (italics are JD's thoughts). **_**This is a work in process, any critiques are welcome.**_

_The day began like most days at Sacred Heart Hospital: walking in the door, getting glared at by the Janitor _("I'm watchin' you")_, high fived by the Todd _("Good morning five!")_, greeted by Carla _("Bambi, you're late")_, and man-hugged by Turk_. "How's it hangin', JD?"

"Pretty good, chocolate bear. Why'd you leave so early this morning?"

Turk shrugged. "Hey, I gotta do what I gotta do what I gotta do." _That didn't really answer my question._ "I had a surgery this mornin', so I got down in the AM." This called for one of his dances. "I banged the schizzle with the chizzle and fo'mizzled with the izzle." Turk moonwalked back and forth until the a too-familiar voice of sarcasm rang out.

"Well now, Emily, I know how much y'like to watch the trained bear dance, but, darn it all, there's these pesky patients that want your attention and, I know," he smiled, "it's just five more minutes and you'll get to it, but, hey, it's not like anyone will _die_ while ya stand around and stare now is it?" Dr. Cox banged a chart into my chest. "We got another kook."

_Dr. Cox's term of "kook" applied to those patients who appear perfectly healthy and normal. However, when they start to list their symptoms, it becomes clear that there's more wrong with their brain than their body. My newest patient was no exception. _

"And how are we feeling today, sir?" JD asked as he walked into his newest patient's room. "Dr. John Smith, right?"

"Oh, yes, well, call me the Doctor," the patient said. "And, well, all right, I suppose, aside from the stomach cramps and chills I was telling the nurse about. Espanosa, I think it was."

_Oh, so Carla had seen him in._ "You visiting from oversees?" JD asked, referring to his strong English accent.

"Well, yes, could say that. Bit of a traveler in general. Lots bustling about, rush rush rush and all."

_I like this Doctor. He rambled even more than me._ "Well, I'll be in to take your vitals as soon as I check on my other patients. Unless you'd rather take them yourself, _Doctor_."

"Wrong kind of doctor, I'm afraid. No medical training whatsoever. Well, I say no, what I mean is no _official_ training in that area…" He was still talking as JD backed out the door.

_The Doctor kept talking. "And when I was younger I had a nice little house well when I say house I mean more of a cottage it was on the seaside and I usedtowanderaroundandseethesightsandoandogaignasodigwnea—" His mouth moves faster and faster until his lips fly off his face. He bends down and picks them up, still rambling away._

"You'd need a lot of glue," JD said.

"Need glue for what?" Elliot had come up behind him.

"Oh, nothing."

"No, seriously, what do you need glue for? I have some, in my bag."

"No, really, Elliot, I don't need any glue."

"Are you sure? I can get it, right now, just give me a minute, it's no problem—" She dashed off towards the locker rooms.

"What was that about?" Carla asked from behind her station.

JD leaned on the desk. "She went to get glue. Don't ask me why."

Carla smirked. "Another one of your little fantasies, JD?"

"I have no idea what you're talking about, Carla."

"Uh-huh." Lavern, articulate as always.

"An-y-way, I have to be going on rounds now. But I wanted to ask you about that new patient, the Doctor."

Carla sniffed. "You're actually calling him that? In a hospital full of doctors?"

"It's easy to remember…"

"Well, whatever you say, Bambi. He's English and he's crazy, that's all I can tell."

Elliot rushed back in, hair wild and scrubs askew. "I found the glue!"

We all stared. "What?" she asked. "No one's ever seen a glue container before?"

_Not one larger than my head. Still, it would keep his lips from flying off…_


	2. What'dya mean, two?

**Knowing that people are reading this makes me so happy! So here's part two, enjoy, critique, ignore, whatever. Again, don't own either of these; if I did I'd be rich and probably not writing fanfic.**

_I was walking from Mrs. Fillips' room, the last patient before I checked back up on the Doctor. She was a sweet old lady, suffering from a salt deficiency. I told her to lay off the salad and eat some ham._ JD walked quickly down the corridor, until a blue-sleeved arm knocked him onto the floor. "Hey." The Janitor's lanky form menaced JD from above. "Stay away from that doctor."

"What doctor?" JD picked himself up off the floor.

"The doctor. You know."

"Look, we're in a hospital. There are a lot of doctors here."

"Okay, you know what, fine." The Janitor threw his hands up. "Just don't tell him about me."

"Uh, everyone in this hospital knows you're the janitor."

He glared at JD. "No they don't. So keep it that way." He pointed. "Or else…"

"Or else what?" JD called at the Janitor's retreating back. _He's crazy._ Shaking his head, JD continued down the hall to Doctor Smith's room, where Carla was already talking with the patient. Well, arguing, to be precise.

"What do you mean, you have two of them?!"

"Look, I just do, okay? Y'know, like humans have two arms, two legs, two eyes—"

"But look, that's not possible, you can't have—"

"What's going on, Carla?" JD asked, interrupting her sentence.

She just pointed at the Doctor. "Listen," she said. "Listen to his chest."

"Ookay," said JD, pulling his stethoscope from around his neck.

"Listen, I might warn you, it'll sound a bit odd in there—"

"Relax, Doctor," JD stopped the loquacious man before he could go on. "I've heard lots of chests, and I'm sure yours is nothing to worry about." He placed the stethoscope on the man's heart.

"Suit yourself." The Doctor leaned back, grinning as JD listened.

"What?" JD shifted the stethoscope to the right. "That's just not…" Back to the left. "That's not a heart murmur…" To the right again. "Sir, just what am I hearing?"

The Doctor sighed, causing JD to quickly remove the stethoscope from his ears. "I have two hearts, okay? Why is this such a difficult thing for humans to understand?"

"Mister—Doctor—I'm just going to step outside with Nurse Espinosa, all right?" JD practically dragged Carla out of the room. "What is up with his chest?"

"How should I know?!" Carla snapped at him. "I've never heard _anything_ like that before, and trust me, I know what I'm talking about."

"I'll…I'll just go get Dr. Cox." JD rushed away from the nurses' station.

"He won't know what it is either!" Carla called after him. "He's been here as long as I have!"

_Carla's words proved prophetic._ "Well," said Dr. Cox as he leaned upright, "either I really need to upgrade my crazy pills or you have two heartbeats, bub."

"Listen, I can explain that—"

"And could ya also explain your temperature, there, Q?"

JD grabbed the Doctor's chart. "He has a fever?"

"Not quite, there, Skippy."

JD stared at the second page. "Sixty…sixty-five degrees? That's not possible!"

"No, it's not." With the famous nose-rub and arm-fold, Dr. Cox turned back to the patient. "Start talkin'."

"Well, telling the truth, I'm not exactly human." Pause. "At all. In the least." Still silence. "I'm an alien." Still silence from the two doctors. Then, finally, "Oh my god!"

JD and Dr. Cox turned to the hallway, where the yell had come from. Eliot came rushing in. "You guys will never believe this, but there's an alien in the hospital!"

"Well, yes, I just told them," the Doctor replied.

Elliot looked confused. "How would you know about it? It just walked in the door. Come see!" She grabbed JD's hand, pulling him behind her with a yelp.

"What?" The Doctor stared aghast at Dr. Cox.

"Tell me about it," he quipped, chasing after the two newbies.

**(Don't you just **_**love**_** cliffhangers? ******** More coming soon!)**


	3. Lots of Running About and Screaming

**Oh, joy, it's Chapter 3! Glad folks are enjoying it. Still don't know where it's going…Yep, no ownership of either of these shows; if I did I would be floating head doctor with a laser screwdriver :)**

_As I was pulled down the hall by an excited Elliot, I wondered what, exactly, was going on._ "What, exactly," JD said, pulling himself out of Elliot's grip, "is going on?"

"JD, I told you!" she grinned. "There's an alien in the hospital."

"Yep. Think I established that already." The Doctor had caught up, followed closely by Dr. Cox and Carla.

"Who the heck are you?" Elliot was clearly unimpressed.

"Oh, I'm the Doctor. The alien."

"What?" Elliot laughed. "You're not the alien, you look…completely…human…" Her gazed changed from one of annoyance to adoration.

"But, wait, Elliot," JD cut in. "If he's not the alien, then who—" A loud hiss came from the elevator.

As the doors dinged open, a giant lizard head stuck out. It looked both ways, then came farther out, followed by a bulky, leather-clad body. It began running towards the group. Faster and faster it pounded, with single-minded intensity. "I think it's charging at us."

"Great catch, Janice. Now get out of the way!" Dr. Cox, sarcastic in the face of danger, shoved the group as a whole out of the way of the creature as it continued through the hallway.

Coughing, JD leaned upward. "Dr. Cox, I didn't say anything." _But you reached over and hugged me! To save my life! I knew you cared!_

Groaning, Carla sat up as well. "What was that thing?"

"The alien." Eliot was still just lying there. "It's been running up and down every floor. No one knows why."

"Looked more like some jackass in a mask." Dr. Cox was already standing.

"No, pretty sure it was an alien. Masks don't commonly have gills."

"For the last time, Newbie—"

"Dr. Cox, it wasn't me!" JD protested, slipping back to the floor with a yelp.

The Doctor looked askance at the poodle-headed resident from the floor. "You know, I really don't know why you keep mistaking me for your protégé." Dr. Cox just stared, mouth open. "Now, I _think_, just think mind you, that that alien is the exact reason I was dropped here."

"Waddaya mean, dropped?" Elliot asked.

"Well, the TARDIS, she sometimes has a mind of her own," the Doctor replied off-handedly. "Now! To see where that lizard got to!"

"Hold it right there." Dr. Kelso was storming down the hallway, looking much like the lizard had, only marginally slower. "I de_mand_ an explanation for all this. _What_ in god's name is running around my hospital?!"

"To be honest, I have no idea. Well, maybe one or two. Up to six, really. That's a good number, six, very balanced—"

"Dr. Dorian, will you _please_ take your patient back to his room?! He is clearly mad, and not helping this situation!"

"Dr. Kelso, he says he's an alien and—"

"Out! Of! My! Sight!" the chief of medicine bellowed.

"Oh, not a problem, sir, whoever you are, I was just off!" With a cheery wave and a manic grin, the Doctor ran down the corridor.

"Now. Would someone care to explain?"

JD, Carla, and Elliot all began to explain their lack of knowledge on the alien. At the same time.

Dr. Cox gave a wolf whistle. "Listen, there, Bobbo, we're just as much in the dark as you are. Now if ya want an explination, I would say to follow that 'alien' and tear his mask off."

"He went that way," JD pointed in the direction the Doctor ran off in.

Dr. Kelso gave a grim grin. "When I catch who's behind all this…Come on!" He started marching, then running, with the others in tow behind him.

Elliot turned to Carla as they ran. "Isn't this exciting? A real live alien!"

"I just hope it doesn't hurt anyone."

A scream rang out from down the hall.

"That's chocolate bear!"

"You recognize my husband's screams?"

"Hey, we were in college together. I know him."

Another scream caused them to run faster.

**((I'm just…too…tired…Must…leave…cliffhanger…again…))**


	4. Splitting the Scooby Gang

**Yes, I know, no update in over a week, I must be dead or something. I'm not, really, I just got lazy and busy with life. But you don't want that, you want Time Lords and interns, so the usual disclaimer of not owning these, and a longer (belated) chapter.**

_As we collectively chased after the alien, I couldn't help but be reminded of a certain children's mystery show. _

_The five do funny runs down the hall. Dr. Kelso, in white shirt and blue pants, shouts, "After the monster!" A chase of a sort ensues, with the Doctor after the alien, Kelso after the Doctor, Carla (in orange with glasses) after Elliot (in stylish purple), the alien after Dr. Cox (who's dressed in green), Kelso after Carla, Elliot after the Doctor, and JD after Dr. Cox, commenting, "Rut ro, Raggy! Re's retting raray!"_

JD skidded to a halt (and out of his fantasy) as he reached a prone Turk. Carla immediately doubled back and bent down next to him. "Baby, are you all right?"

"Yeah, I'm fine, I think, I just, you're gonna think I'm crazy, but this lizard-head guy knocked me over, and stepped on my…well…let's just say not a good spot to step, y'know what I'm sayin'?"

"I'm so sorry baby; it must hurt so bad…" Carla began to coddle her husband.

Elliot called back, "It's getting away!"

JD turned to Turk. "You gonna be okay, chocolate bear?"

"Yeah, yeah, fine, now go chase after that thing! Give it some Turk-a-dizzle for me!" Needing no further enticement, JD raced after the gang.

Meanwhile, Dr. Kelso had begun to wheeze. He slowed farther and farther, Dr. Cox easily outpacing him. The chief of medicine finally stumbled to a halt. Elliot stopped beside him. "Sir, are you all right?"

"I'm fine, dammit, just a, bit, tired, is all," Dr. Kelso sputtered. "Nothing…a little…"

"A little what, sir? Water? Coffee? Tea?" Dr. Kelso attempted to complete a sentence as Elliot rattled off ideas. "Food? A sandwich? A cup of soup? Or is it medicine? An aspirin? Vitamin A? C? B12?..."

At the elevators, Dr. Cox had finally been able to catch up with the Doctor, who was likewise caught up with the alien. "Now, then, what's the meanin' of runnin' around this hospital, eh? Rushing back and forth, no discernable purpose, what's it for, then?"

The lizard turned, menacingly. "Now, didn't mean to offend you at all, o'course, just an innocent question, damn my rude-and-not-ginger-ness-"

The beast's tongue flashed out, catching the Doctor's cheek. It then jumped into the now-open elevator doors. Dr. Cox attempted to follow, but the Doctor stood in the way, allowing the doors to close. The lighted arrow indicated it was going up.

Dr. Cox angrily turned on the stiff Englishman. "What the hell, Q?! You just stood there and let it get away!"

"Yes, I did, didn't I…" The Doctor's jaw hardly moved, and he was beginning to list to the right. "Must be some sort of paralysis toxin in the spittle…Whatever you do, don't get licked…" He crashed to the floor.

Two minutes too late, JD slid onto the scene, almost tripping over the fallen humanoid. "Dr. Cox, what happened? Where did the—"

"Upstairs. Newbie, you need to take care of this idiot."

"But Dr. Cox, the alien—"

"I'll take care of the alien."

"But it—"

"Look!" Dr. Cox grabbed JD by the collar of his scrubs. "I don't know what that _thing_ running around can do, but it's already done something to this guy. You need to fix him up so he can tell us what the hell is going on. Can you do that, Adric?"

"Um, yes sir. Uh, Adric isn't a gi—"

"I don't have time to argue about insults! Just do it!" With that, the elevator doors binged again, leaving JD straddling a prone Doctor. "Let's get you into a bed, yeah?"

_After manhandling the Doctor (who was surprisingly light) into the nearest open bed, I attempted to take his vitals. Still the double heartbeat, still the dead man's temperature. And, to add to it, the cut on his cheek was oozing some yellow liquid, though that could have been from the purported alien-bite._

"You feeling alright, Doctor?"

"Aside from the lack of movement of my limbs, yes, same as normal, I didn't catch the name?"

"Dr. John Dorian. Mostly just JD or Dr. Dorian, although that could get confusing."

"Yes, never know what doctor you're talking to…Why did that fluffy-haired doctor call you Adric?"

"Oh, that's just Dr. Cox. He usually calls me girls' names, as a joke. Don't know why he chose Adric. Musta been really not thinking."

"I knew an Adric once. Terribly boring. All smart and uppity and supercilious. That's a fun word, isn't it? Supercilious. Super-silly-us. Sooo-prrrr—"

"I'm sorry, Doctor, but there's an alien running loose in the hospital, and we need to stop it, and only you know how."

"Oh, yes, right, well, I'm pretty sure that's a, well, we called it something unpronounceable, don't know what they call themselves, closest translation, let's think—"  
"Just tell me what they are!"

"Well, they're Croncletites. I think. Though what's one doing on your planet I can't guess—"

"Why is it running around?"

"Well, to get its bearings, I think." He waved his hand. "Can't think of any other reason for this rushing about—"

"How do we get rid of it?"

"Well, see, that's the question. They are hard to kill; they're mostly lizard, so they heal fast. And mostly they're peaceful, stay on their own planet and eat Dangerous Dragonflies. Great big bulbous dragonflies they are, wingspan about," as he spread his hands as far apart as they could go, "this long, and great giant teeth, with—"

"Um, Doctor, you just moved your arms. Twice."

"Oh, toxin must be wearing off. Fantastic!" The Doctor stiffly swung his legs off the bed. "Defense mechanism, paralyzing your enemy. Wouldn't do much good against dragonflies, but us fleshy types, yes indeed! Now! Let's go catch a lizard!"

**((Worth the wait, I hope. Next one will be sooner (and hopefully longer ).))**


	5. D'you want to come with me?

**Hey, it's back from the dead! Again, most apologies for the wait, I think it'll be worth it, though. Finally came up with an ending **

As the doors dinged, Dr. Cox sped out of the elevator, grabbing the nearest person to him. "Where did it go?!" he yelled.

Lavern, stoic as ever, just pointed down the hall. Dr. Cox raced away, not hearing her comment about how she had never seen someone so upset over a costume. He barely saw the shell-shocked looks of most of the patients, although one old lady tried to get him to stop. Reaching the end of the hall, he skidded into a turn, nearly running into the Janitor. "Out of my way!"

"Sorry, can't let you do that," the jumpsuited-one replied. "Got a bit of an issue—"

"Yes, stretch, I know about the lizard!"  
"Lizard? Oh, the Croncletite, yeah, no more problems with him."

Dr. Cox gave him a look. "The _what_?"

The Janitor just shrugged. "Oh, just get 'em in a closed-off room, they look around it and then just wait. He's in there." He gestured to the room to his left. The blinds were closed, so it was impossible to see inside.

"In there? Wait, how did you—"

The Doctor and JD came rushing up. "Did you catch it?" asked the Doctor, panting.

"Well, jumpsuit claims he trapped it in that room—"

"Brilliant! Just the thing to do, get it in a small space so it'll stay calm!" The Doctor grinned. "Now, does anyone have a paper bag or something? If we can get it over its head, then we can just lead it to—"

"Hang on," JD interrupted. "How did the Janitor know to lock it in a room?"

The Janitor shrugged. "Saw it in a movie."

"Great, now how about that paper bag?"

Dr. Cox spied Ted coming with his lunch, and grabbed it. "Here."

"Hey, my mother made that for me!" Dr. Cox threw the contents at him.

"Perfect." The Doctor sidled up to the door. "Now if I can just…"

As the door creaked open, the green head snaked out. The Doctor stuck the sack in front of it just as the rest of the Croncletite followed. "Gotcha!"

* * *

The Doctor and JD exited the elevator, alien in tow. They passed the still-yammering Eliot and Dr. Kelso. "It is a sock? A hat? A teddy bear, a nightlight, a—"

"What I need is for you to shut up!" Dr. Kelso bellowed. "Now get me some water, dammit."

"Yessir, right away sir." Eliot walked briskly away, catching up to the other three. "What happened?"  
"Oh, nothing much, caught the beastie, saved the day an' all in less than an hour. Be surprised how un-often that happens to me." As the Doctor spoke, they passed Carla and Turk, the latter with an ice pack.

"Dude, you caught it?"

JD grinned. "Yep. All safe."

"Where're you going?"

"Back to the TARDIS," the Doctor said.

"The what?" Carla asked, confused.

"The TARDIS. My ship."

"You named your ship the TARDIS?"

The Doctor looked puzzled. "Yeah. It's an acronym."

Carla smirked. "Acronym? I thought you didn't speak Spanish."

"Spanish?"

"_Tardes_ means afternoon. Like _Buenos tardes_? You didn't know that?"

The Doctor muttered something about not being around Spain since he got lynched in the Inquisition, then added, "Never mind, d'you want to see it?"

In one of the patient rooms, there was a big, blue box. No one had remembered seeing it there before. "Here she is," the Doctor beamed proudly. "Now, if someone would give me a hand with the door…"  
Turk stared at the TARDIS. "How are you supposed to fit in there?"

"And why's it got 'Police Call Box' written on it?" Elliot asked.

"And how'd you get it through the door?" Carla added.

The Doctor sighed. "Why, oh why do you humans always ask the same questions? You three, out. JD, you can stay."

The three, looking rather confused and amused, trouped out. JD opened the door of the TARDIS. "Wow…"

Inside, the light from the console glowed. The brown walls with their spires looked familiar, yet alien, like a coral reef. And the size of it… "It's—"

"Don't say it!" the Doctor groaned as he manhandled the alien inside.

"—beautiful," JD finished.

"Oh. Well. Thanks very much. Say, would you like to come with me? For your help, with the Croncletite. It'd be a one-time thing, you understand, as a thank you."

JD grinned. "Yes!" He hugged the Doctor.

Surprised, the Doctor hugged him back. "Well, if you'll give me a minute, we'll be off! How about a world with actual unicorns? Or—"

* * *

"'Or, one made of candy, actual candy,' he'd say, 'complete mountains of chocolate, and—'"

"Okay, JD, I get the idea. But I don't think that that's what would ever happen," Turk said.

"Why not?" asked JD. "Okay, so maybe it'd be a cat-headed alien, or a dog-headed one."

"JD, it's just a television show. _Doctor Whom_ isn't real."

JD looked down. "I know," he said sulkily.

Turk looked at his watch. "Break's over. I got a surgery in half an hour."

"See ya later, chocolate bear." Turk gave a wave as he left. JD sat back on the break-room couch, sipping his coffee. A blonde walked over to him.

"Excuse me," she said in accented English. "I couldn't help overhearing, you were talking about a doctor?"

JD turned his head. A patient, or family of one, he thought. "Yeah, it's this TV show I watch, it's kinda nerdy. There's this time-traveling alien, called the Doctor, and he goes around these different times and places on adventures, and he has these traveling companions…"

Rose sat back and listened to JD talk. If only he knew it were real…

**((All done, guys! Hope it made you smile, and no killing me over the ending!))**


End file.
